The Finals are Set!!!

Two titans of the table are ready to stare down for the Benaaron Cup

After two hotly contested rounds of semi-final action, the finalists for the inaugural CMB Staring Contest have been decided!

This morning, Vinnie managed to overcome Old Meany in 42.5 seconds, who was unable to stifle a giggle as Vinnie pulled out the ol' dance moves.

And then, during the afternoon, after a marathon 2 minutes and 3 seconds, The Woman Who Stares At Goats could not suppress her own laughter after trying to trash-talk Eye of the Storm.

Thus... tomorrow... at 3:15 PM, Eye of the Storm and Vinnie will go eyeball to eyeball, in a showdown to end all showdowns, for the most glorious prize in the history of Sports Entertainment Charitable Fundraisers....

!!!THE BENAARON CUP!!!

A brief history of the Benaaron Cup...

Forged in fires of Hades, the first known archival mention of the Benaaron Cup was during the Roman Empire between 27 - 5 BCE. A lonley Gladiator named Lookaloticus was awarded a golden chalice for staring down 3 lions and a walrus.

After Lookaloticus was assasinated (circa 3 CE), the Benaaron Cup disappeared from the annals of history. However, in 1545, Nostradamus fatefully predicted the return of the Cup "...sometime in the 20th or 21st century. Or maybe the 19th, perhaps. If the world has not ended before then, which it MIGHT....mwhah-hah-ha-haaaa!"

Then, in 2009, on a soul-searching sojourn to Las Vegas, Ben Johnson awoke from a drunken stupor with his wallet and shoes missing, but the Benaaron Cup sitting in his lap. "It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen," notes Johnson.