First Round Controversy

OSCLA Makes Controversial Ruling on Morning of First Round

First round action was slated to begin this afternoon in the first annual CMB Staring Contest but festivities were marred when it was revealed that fan favourite and perennial starer, Kevin "Eye of The Storm" Kelly would be unable to participate due to illness.

Following a stir caused by the announcement at today's 9:30 meeting, Ontario Staring Contest League Association (OSCLA) officials retreated to their headquarters in Bracebridge, ON for a last minute decision on how this might effect proceedings.

"Ultimately, it was decided that the event would be better off if Mr. Kelly was included in the festivities," a spokesperson for the OSCLA said. "We'll hold the two other first round matches today as scheduled, and work something out with Mr. Kelly's handlers once we know the extent of his illness."

The ruling comes at a delicate time for the OSCLA given that this is its inaugural season. Critics say that Eye of The Storm should simply be disqualified, but charge that league founders, Ben Johnson and Aaron Talbot, are more interested in ticket sales than the actual competition.

Bloggers and conspiracy theorists are also up in arms, claiming that a rumoured gambling pool based on the tournament heavily influenced the decision, given that Vegas odds makers heavily favour Kelly.

One critic isn't mincing words. Kelly's first round opponent Carly "Action" Jackson was blunt when pressed for comment, "Kevin Kelly is a coward. I should absolutely win by default." She added, "Don't put that. That's not my actual quote. Seriously. Why are you doing this? Honestly, you're putting way too much effort into this. You are going to get fired."

Tournament Action begins at 3:15 today with Old Meany facing off against Crook Eye McVee and Mini B taking on Franco.