First Round Match-Ups!

They're here!

Using a completely random process, the match-ups for the first round of the staring contest are now set.

Click on the image below for a larger, more readable version.

Due to the odd number of contestants, some lucky contestants have been randomly chosen to get a bye into the second round. Eagle Eye, Vinnie, K-Ted, The Woman Who Stares at Goats and Cookie will not have to play until the second round of match ups, tentatively scheduled for Wednesday December 16th (subject to change).

But first round action will feature three matches between

• Old Meany and Crook Eye
• Mini B and Franco
• Action Jackson and Eye of The Storm.

Matches will be begin at 3:15pm Thursday December 10th.

They will go on as long as they have to and once each match is completed, officials will notify the next contestants that it is their turn to compete.

Spectators are welcome and encouraged to make a donation of at least one dollar per match as general admission. Contestants are likewise encouraged to pay admission to come watch the competition.

An Exclusice "All-Tournament Pass" is also available, which includes front-row seats and intimate access to every match, including The Benaaron Cup Finals.

At just $7 it's a fantastic value, a great way to donate to the United Way, and likely the single greatest purchase you will ever make.

Come see Ben or email cmbblogger@gmail.com to get yours today!

The Hour of Power - Update!

As you all know, yesterday we held the draw for the first ever CMB United Way Hour of Power.

The common-folk were awarded a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a manager (or director!) be at their beck and call for one glorious hour.

Seven draws were conducted, as Josh had previously donated two hours of his time and, in response to the success of her raffle, Karin generously added a second hour of her time at the final hour.

The big winners are as follows:

Josh: One hour for Mary and one for Ben

Karin: One hour for Aaron and one for Joanne

Ryan: IMME (The entire unit)

Deb: Joanne

Lina: Adina

In an effort to get some idea of the back-breaking labour the managers will be subjected to during their hours, Aaron interviewed all the winners (yes, including himself) to try to get a taste of what they had in store for their newly acquired assistants. This is what they had to say:

Adina re: Lina

"My first inclination was to show Lina what it is that I do all day, but then I thought it might be more valuable to have her show me her job. Or, I might just have her design, write and send out Christmas cards to every translator that I work with."

Joanne re: Debbie

"I think I'll start by having Debbie wallpaper my cubicle with serene pictures. Then she'll pop off one key at a time on my keyboard and dust and clean them individually. She'll then archive the invitations for the past two years. Throughout the hour, I will also expect her to answer my phone 'Joanne's office. How may I help you?'"

Ben re: Josh

Aaron re: Karin

"Karin will be job shadowing me for one hour, during which time she will learn the joy of logging correspondence."

Mary re: Josh

Joanne re: Karin

"No comment."

The Issues Unit re: Ryan

In an effort to lessen the amount of back-breaking labour that IMME has in store for him, Ryan has tried convince the unit that the “Hour of Power” is actually a good mentoring opportunity. Fortunately, IMME sees through Ryan’s attempts to ‘spin’ this initiative and has been thinking long and hard about how to best optimize his time. IMME knows how much Ryan likes CCM, which is why they have been saving HBNs for him to log. Ryan will also be doing the afternoon scan and issues table – all while making time to get the unit coffee and tea.

Meet The Contestants

The first competitors for this year's Staring Contest have submitted their entry forms, and let me tell you, they are a fearsome looking group.

Feast your eyes on the most formidable class of eye-athletes since the earliest days of The Ontario Staring Contest League Association (OSCLA).

Which one of these fierce challengers will take home The Benaaron Cup?

Only time will tell.

With a handful of entry-forms still out there in the branch to be submitted, this group of ocular ruffians is sure to grow in the days leading up to first round. And, if the look of this bunch hasn't terrified you to your very soul, there's still time for you to enter if you haven't yet.

But don't wait too long. The last day to get your entry form in is Friday December 4th.

First Round match-ups will be posted Wednesday December 8th.

And first round matches begin Thursday December 10th. (Spectator tickets available at the door for each match for just $1)

CMB Staring Contest Competitors

	NAME: Donnette "The Woman Who Stares At Goats" Stoll BIO: Unknown
	NAME: Renée "Eagle Eye" Struik BIO: I only have eyes for you.
	NAME: Vinoth "Vinnie" Sabanadesan BIO: Trained at an early age in the art of "Staritsu," Vin was raised to believe that nothing mattered except the ancient art. A lone monk, Vin has traveled the world seeking to find as opponent that would finally challenge him. For then he could finally be at rest with his inner demons. There is no fear except for what can be stared at.
	NAME: Kristen "KT" Tedesco, aka KTed BIO: Kristen has been honing her staring skills for years. She developed her talent at a young age, as she discovered that staring at her brother was an amusing way to annoy him. At camp, Kristen won every fire-starting competition by staring into a pile of kindling until it burst into flames. As a young adult Kristen paid for her university tuition by taking part in illegal back alley staring contests where large sums of money would be wagered. Kristen hopes that her many years of staring will help her win the 2009 CMB Staring Contest – after that, its world domination. Oh ya, Kristen taught Chuck Norris how to stare.
	NAME: Bryan "Mini B" Adarna BIO: Unknown.
	NAME: Mary "Cookie" Vaz BIO: Unknown.
	NAME: Franco "The Nose" Naso BIO: Franco came into training camp a bit overweight, but has begun to stick with a new workout routine and has worked on his footwork. He's on a hot streak, posting a record of 5-0-3 in his last 8 matches. In the off-season, he has teamed up with Johnny "No Lids" Nazonkowski to work on a new strategy. It seems to be working for The Nose. HEIGHT: 5'6" WEIGHT: 200lbs COACH: Don Musso RECORD: 15-4-9
	NAME: Kevin "Eye of The Storm" Kelly BIO: Formerly a mild mannered gas pump attendant who was unfortunate enough to be working late when the owner of the station fulfilled a dastardly scheme to collect on his wife's insurance policy by blowing the place up while she was onsite doing paperwork. Understandably, Kelly was more than a little put out at being incinerated, so he's back from the dead and occupies himself by blowing stuff up with his eyeballs. This will be Kelly's first foray into the world of competitive staring, and the judges are expecting big things from the ruddy-faced rookie.
	NAME: Tannis "Crook Eye McVee" Fenton BIO: Crook Eye McVee is giving you the crook eye just for having to fill out this section of her entrant's from. Easily overwhelmed by paperwork, McVee would prefer to just get down to staring business.
	NAME: Carly "Action" Jackson BIO: Unknown
	NAME: Nadia "Old Meany" Abdelahad BIO: It ain't over 'til it's over.